This is no ordinary holiday season for my family.  There are painful realities every which way we turn.  I am praying myself up for a follow-up CT scan on Monday.  This time I will not go it alone.  My husband is taking me.  Most of all, I pray for peaceful thoughts.  I don’t want to obsess about the contrast dye that will be injected into my vein.  I don’t want to obsess and wonder whether or not my lymph nodes are enlarged and, if so, what that may entail.  I just want to hold onto Jesus and my family this Christmas.

Have you ever had a word whispered in your heart so clearly, you know it is assurance from the Holy One?  Lately I’ve been hearing the word, “trust.”  It leaps out at me from Bible verses as I read them.  It settles in my anxious heart and brings me a measure of peace.  I know in my head that God calls me to trust him.  I trusted him with my life when I accepted Jesus as my Savior.  But what about beyond the obvious?  What does it mean to trust in the Lord, for real life?

The English definition of trust is the

assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something

We trust people and companies without even thinking twice about it.  For example, I trusted UPS last week when I paid money to have a package shipped.  I had an inner assumption that UPS would do the job I paid it to do.  I put my Christmas cards in the mailbox this morning, trusting that the postman would take them out and would make sure they all reached their intended destinations.  We trust our vehicles to get us across town or even across the country.  When we buy a plane ticket to, say, Hawaii, we trust that the airline will get us there instead of dropping us off in New York.  We even trust our email providers to send our electronic messages instantly.   Why is it, then, that we have a difficult time trusting God?

Perhaps it’s because our prayers don’t come with tracking numbers?  Seriously, it is a harder thing to trust in the unseen, especially when we have prior experience with suffering.  I dread Monday’s CT scan, and this time it isn’t fear of the unknown.  It’s fear based on what happened to me last time.  I don’t want to get nauseous again.  That is my anxiety trigger, and it happened the last time I had the CT scan.  So, my brain automatically assumes that it very possibly might happen again on Monday.  Is it the end of the world if I get nauseous?  Not to you, it isn’t.  But to my obsessive compulsive, phobic self, it feels like the end of the world.

I fear for the children of my friends Leslie and Brent, who just learned that Mommy is moving away from Daddy.  These children are being uprooted from their family and from their home.  They will be trading a house for an apartment.  They will be going from one school to another.  They’ll have to make new friends, and they now have worries that they might not see Daddy again.  It’s sad enough to make me weep.

Still I hear those words: Trust Me.

But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation. Psalm 13: 5

Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:10

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. Psalm 20:7

…in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. Psalm 25:2

³ Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

⁴ Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

⁵ Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
Psalm 37

But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever. Psalm 52:8

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Psalm 62:8

He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. Psalm 112:7

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Psalm 143:8

Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.” Isaiah 12:2

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3

Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God. Isaiah 50:10

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God ; trust also in me. John 14:1

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

There is much, much more God wants us to know about trust, but those few verses are a good beginning.  One of the secular topics I learned about in college as I was studying to be a teacher is the power of positive self-talk and self-fulfilling prophesies.  A student who believes he is capable of mastering a topic and applies himself with diligence, will master that topic.  A student who believes she is not intelligent enough to understand a topic will likely not put forth the effort because she believes it is pointless — and will then fulfill her own beliefs because she will not master the topic.  This principle can be applied to real-life in those situation that require trust in God.

As my friend Brent stands, battered and bruised from abuse by his wife, he can get a mental image of himself as an olive tree, flourishing in the house of God. He call recall this image every time his mind begins to dwell on the hurt or every time Satan tries to use this situation to drag him down with depression.

When I feel depression soaking in and deadening my skin like sleet, and when clouds and sorrows threaten to block out all light from my weary heart, I can recall the image of myself, walking through an obstacle in pitch blackness without a flashlight or a star to guide me.  In those times I will get through, if I trust in the name of the LORD (rely on His ability, character, and power).  If I recall the sweeping miracles throughout history, I know that He will see me through this stale darkness and will lead me to a place of freshness.

As I stretch out my body on the CT table and offer up my arm for the IV, I can feel not just peace, but perfect peace if I let my mind be steadfast.  That verse from Isaiah 26 uses the Hebrew word camak for steadfast.  It literally means to lean on….to brace oneself…to support yourself…to refresh, and to revive.  What a picture!  As the IV drips through my veins, I will attempt an experiment in trust…in camak.  I’ll conjure up an image in my mind’s eye of the Lord not only supporting me through the anxiety, but also refreshing and reviving me.  And I will also experience joy this tumultuous Christmas when I capture the other verse about trust in my heart: I will not fear bad tidings.  I will keep my thoughts fixed on Him and his mighty power to save, to heal, to revive and to refresh.

I pray the Lord will help me do this TRUST thing with all I have within me.  Although there won’t be any tracking numbers affixed to this prayer, I know He hears me, cares for me, and will work out everything for my deliverance.  And that is from God’s word to your heart:

Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. (Phil 1:19)

Trust Him.

Social networking websites are all the rage these days.  It’s apparent from looking at our family Thanksgiving candid photos that I spent way too much time lurking the halls of Facebook.

It’s also apparent from recent hardships in my circle of friends that Satan stands ever ready to use any means possible to destroy relationships, including social networking.  Reconnecting with old friends means the potential is there to reconnect with old flames…and consequently, to get burned.

So began a true, high-tech “love” triangle between my friend Leslie, her husband Brent, and a man from the past named Les. (Not their real names.) Leslie got a Facebook account about six months ago.  It all started innocently enough — she wanted a place to post pictures of her family.  She found many old buddies from the past and started sharing photos and laughs.  Brent, her outdoorsy husband, didn’t have a Facebook account and did not plan to open one.  He had enough computer time at work.

Then, Satan set a stumbling block in Leslie’s path.  She reconnected with Les, an old boyfriend from years ago.  Soon they began emailing each other.  Phone calls followed, and slowly, faded step by step, she allowed this man to replace her husband in her heart.  Now she wants to divorce Brent so she can be free to pursue Les, who has become her “true love” in her heart.  Les is also seeking a divorce from his wife so he can be with Leslie.

It’s worth noting that Brent and Leslie are Christians; in fact, they met at a church singles group and have been married for nearly ten years. They have four young children together.  Brent is still holding on to hope that the Lord will work in Leslie’s heart…that she will see for herself the deceptive trap that Satan put in front of her.  He believes in covenant marriage — he will not divorce her, no matter how many times she begs and pleads and tells him that she no longer loves him or how miserable she sets out to make him so he will voluntarily let her go.

Instead, Brent has laid claim to 1 Corinthians 13.  He knows that love is an action verb.  The Lord has shown him places where he needed to be a better man to his wife, and he is eager to do whatever it takes to win her back.

Meanwhile, Leslie has found out about a “do-it-yourself” $129 divorce.  In her mind, it’s a done deal.  She will wear him down until he files for divorce…or she will do it herself.  In this no-fault divorce state, she can divorce him without his consent.  She has turned her back on the Lord and does not want to hear Scripture.  She avoids her church.  She does not want to continue in her marriage, so she has deluded herself into thinking that God never intended for her to marry Brent.

How did this happen?  How did a strong Christian marriage fall victim to emotional adultery?

I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I can certainly look at their experience and use it as a cautionary tale for my own life.  If an old flame “friended” me, I’d definitely think twice before accepting the request, and I’d talk to my husband about it beforehand.

Leslie was unhappy in her marriage to Brent, but she did not communicate that to him.  They both took each other for granted.  They allowed the children to come between their own romantic relationship — they didn’t go out on dates, for example, because Leslie couldn’t find a babysitter she trusted enough with her kids.  Brent often acted like a fourth child and did not romance his wife or show her how much she was appreciated.  None of those things by themselves would derail a marriage, but ever-watchful Satan saw an opportunity in Facebook, and took it.

This is exactly the sort of situation Peter might have been thinking of when he wrote these words:

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are.” -1 Peter 5:8-9, NLT

We would all do well to take his words to heart, lest we, like Leslie, become participants in a slow slide into sin that shatters our families and leaves us broken and making choices we never dreamed we’d ever make as we stood and said our marriage vows before God.

Casting Crowns captured this phenomenon well in their song, “Slow Fade.”  My husband watched the video at a men’s retreat and shared it with me.  Here’s the video:

“It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away

It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day”

Stay alert, indeed.  Guard your heart with diligence.  With all this turmoil happening to my friends Leslie and Brent, I have found myself clinging even tighter to the Lord and to my husband.  I hug him and make sure he knows that I love him and appreciate him.  I pray the Lord will help us be on alert so that our relationship won’t crumble in the halls of Facebook or anywhere else the devil chooses to prowl.

I’m sure Leslie had no intention of getting burned by an old flame when she opened her Facebook account, but it happened nonetheless. So if my male Facebook friends suddenly notice that they have been “de-friended” by me, they will know I took that drastic step as a preventative.  Jesus tells us to cut off the hand that causes us to sin.  Facebook is one snare that I refuse to let Satan use to thwart my relationship with my husband and with the Lord.

My last post was all a jumble of thoughts and confusion.  I’ve since then experienced peace about many aspects of my Christian walk and beliefs.  As He always does, the Lord tenderly (sometimes not so tenderly!) showed me truth through the pages of His word and through worship.  I am not going to be part of doctrinal dog fights.  I believe in God the Father. I believe in God the Son. I believe in the Holy Spirit.  And I will not clutter my mind with hairsplitting because I think that probably makes the Lord sad.  Church last Sunday seemed to be custom-created for ME and the struggles in my heart about worship.  We studied Psalm 103, and it did my heart good to sit and soak in those words of David:

¹ Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.² Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-

³ who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,

⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,

⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

So I am thankful to the point of overflowing!  Praising God for the many blessings he has given me and my family…my country…my church.  As I look around me at the majesty of this universe God created, I can’t help but feel small.  How could it be that THE creator loves me?  Not only loves me, but gave up his life for me so that I could have fellowship with him?

Here’s a video gift to you for Thanksgiving as you remember, with ultimate gratitude, Who it is Who made you.  I’m thankful for whoever put this production together in honor of God…it is truly breathtaking.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Colossians 3:17

My thoughts are in a jumble tonight.

I’ve been reading a book about the Holy Spirit. Much of what I am reading I agree with…but then I googled the author of the book and found that many “apologetics” consider him a heretic.

Why? Because he said that in the Scriptures, Jesus never preached the Bible. Jesus preached the Kingdom of God.

The apologetic writer asserts that it is impossible to separate the two and that when Jesus was preaching about the Kingdom of God, since the Word is God (John 1), he was also preaching the Word.

It makes me feel like I am in over my head!

I am no Bible scholar. I am a Christian woman who seeks after the heart of God. I want passion in my worship and in my life. I want to be all about pointing others towards God’s glory.

But I don’t want to accidentally lay hold of and believe a false teaching, though, being deceived by the kernel of truth in it.

How I wish I had the training to discern such things logically!

All I know tonight is that I do not want to adhere to a doctrine that limits the power of God in any way, shape or form. God is God. He is just as able to heal, to encourage, to go before and to lift up as He was in the days in which the New Testament (and OT) were penned. To say that somehow he allowed miracles to die away is actually adding something false to scripture.

No one doctrine is 100% correct…because we are people. We aren’t God. We fail in our attempts to put the God of creation in a context we can understand.

At any rate, I put the book down because I need to read for myself and investigate spiritual gifts.

I must learn to rest and know that God knows my heart and my motivations. He knows that I want to be in love with Jesus yet don’t really know the way. I love him; he knows that. But I know some people who are IN love with him. Is there a difference? I think there is, in terms of passion and drive. The people who put the Lord first in everything they do, who think about him, who talk to him in prayer conversationally throughout the day, who regularly “feed” on His word and who are passionate about loving the people around them…those are the ones who are IN love with Jesus. I’m still kicking myself for forgetting to say the blessing tonight at dinner. I am not in that league. I still sin and need His forgiveness every single day.

He has already brought me peace tonight as I write these words: God does not change. People do.

I can rest on that truth.

My fingers have been itching to write over the past couple of weeks, but carving out time to do so is just not happening on a regular basis.

It’s cold today here, at least by North Texas standards.  My spine hurts, my fingers hurt, my knees hurt, and my hips hurt.  I don’t know if there is a joint in my body that is not aching today.  Maybe the one in my little toe…

But I digress.  This cold, dreary weather is an accurate reflection of the inside of me at the moment.  My spiritual temperature is lukewarm.  I feel cluttered and dirty inside.  Just like the drawers in my kitchen, I am jumbled and confused.

Today I had one of those Mommy Meltdowns.  It was so sweet to hear my daughter try to build my spirits up:

Me: I hate my cluttered life!

Her: You hate me?

Me: Of course not! (Tears begin to flow)  I hate my cluttered drawers and cluttered closets.  I hate the clutter in the cabinets and the clutter in my heart.  I haven’t been eating right, when I bother to eat at all, and I haven’t been exercising.  (mumbling through a torrent of tears while navigating the car through forty mph winds) I hate the fact that I can’t properly teach you how to be orderly because I don’t know how to do it myself!

Her: I think you just said a cuss word?

Me: I hate the fact that I can’t teach yo how to be orderly because I don’t know how to do it myself!

Her: Mom, I think you just need to rest.  You don’t have to check email all the time. (out of the mouths of babes….)  You don’t have to stand there and do my math with me.  I am capable of doing it by myself.  I can read my history.  If you need a break, just take one!  Go read!  Go have fun!

At this point in our conversation, I realized how wonderful my daughter is and how blessed I am to have her.   I also realized something about myself — I don’t know how to play.

I am seriously deficient in the play part of life.  I do not feel fulfilled unless I am completing a task.  My free time is eaten up with email and other Classical Conversation business (I direct a local campus) or Heart for Homeschooling co-op (I am on the board) and with Facebook.  Or with downloading my photos or creating another brochure.  Or laundry.  Or dishes.  Or cooking.

The only leisure activity I really know how to do is read.  Yet the only time I have available to read is in the evenings….and this is a bad thing for family time because when I read, I really GO places.  I get lost in the story and block out everything else around me.  Too much of that is not good for my family.

Board games irritate me.  I don’t know why, but they do.  I sit and try to play Scrabble or Go Fish or CatchPhrase and end up with a creepy, irritated feeling crawling over me.  It’s weird.  Ditto with video games. Yuck.  Not my idea of fun.

I used to enjoy painting.  I’d get lost for hours in a painting…which is why I don’t do paintings anymore.  I no longer have time to get lost, to abandon myself to anything, much less to the Lord!

Which brings me to another topic. Disappointment.  Restlessness.  Hope.  The Holy Spirit.

I belong to a Fellowship Bible Church that recently (within the past two years) opened a new building.  I have the most wonderful friends at this church.  The teaching is very solidly Bible-based.  Yet I’ve been feeling restless.  I’m trying to figure out if that restlessness is a product of my selfishness or if it is a stirring by God for something different…something more spirit-filled.

There is a woman who recently led the children’s worship time.  She composed beautiful motions to go along with the songs, and her heart was IN it!  There was something powerful and incredibly beautiful about the way she abandoned herself to the words and the meaning, and it came through in her motions.  I was moved to tears as she led the children in a very authentic, heart-felt prayer, and I found myself wishing that the adult worship experience could be as free as the children’s.

When I first began going to my church, I was one of a few people who raised their hands up in worship.  Even when the worship leader exhorts people to do so, most don’t.  Lately I haven’t, either, because I haven’t “felt” it.  Does that make sense?  And so I sing with my mouth but not with my soul.

Which makes me wonder…is the Lord leading me to a different church body?  Or is He prompting me to do something else within this body?  Is my inability to play somehow a product of me doing something wrong spiritually…of unconfessed sin, or unforgiveness, or incomplete understanding of the Holy Spirit?  Incomplete belief?

I have one more Sunday of teaching Sunday School, and then I am stepping down.  Even I realize I need rest.  Perhaps the extra rest will give my soul the space and time it needs to reconnect spiritually.

Worshipping in sprit is what I crave, and it is what my Jesus said I am to do:

²³Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. ²⁴God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.” John 4:23-24

I deeply want to be the kind of worshiper the Father seeks.  I want to worship Him with my soul, with all that I am, and not just with my mouth.

I am running around like a crazy woman preparing for tomorrow’s open house of our Classical Conversations community.

More later on my Halloween evening experiences and a missed opportunity to adequately explain my homeschooling positions.  Muddled.  That’s about all I was.  Too bad people expect me to actually use.my.voice.  I communicate so much better in writing when I have that handy DELETE key! )

It’s Halloween…a day of funky costumes and spooky ghost stories about shadowy figures lurking behind hidden doorways.

Usually I scoff at Halloween superstitions.  But today my reading of Acts 5 brought to light a true supernatural story about shadows.

Supernatural happenings were popping up all over the place.  A man who had been crucified mysteriously disappeared from his tomb and then was found to be alive by at least 500 witnesses.  This same man was lifted up into the heavens, leaving behind disciples who had been touched by what are described as “tongues of flames” of the Holy Spirit.  These men then went out and spread the good news about Jesus being the Messiah to anyone who would hear it, defying the religious rulers and authorities who ordered them to stop preaching in Jesus’ name.  Everywhere they went, people were healed of diseases and came to know the Lord.

These disciples became so popular that crowds came to them.   Sick people were carried to sit or lie by the side of the roads where Peter and his disciples walked to and from the temple where they preached the truth about Jesus.

As a result of the apostles’ work, sick people were brought out into the streets on beds and mats so that Peter’s shadow might fall across some of them as he went by. Crowds came from the villages around Jerusalem, bringing their sick and those possessed by evils spirits, and they were all healed.

Most of the time the word “shadow” has a negative connotation.  When I take the dog outside on a cold day, I’d rather stand in the sunshine than in the shadow of the house.  Shadows make me shiver.  On a hot day, I don’t stand in the shadow of the tree — I stand in the shade.

Yet this account tells us that there was real power in Peter’s shadow.  Multiple people were healed of their diseases simply by sitting in the shadow of one who had walked with the Lord.

It’s important to realize that Peter was not perfect — he denied Christ three times after he was arrested.  He had been an ordinary everyman whose name had been Simon until Jesus gave him the name The Rock.  I wonder if he knew that one day the Lord would use his shadow for miraculous works…

One thing is certain: the man whose shadow fell on the sick and healed them was bold for Christ.  He stood up to the ACLU of his times and pronounced the hard truth no matter what the consequences.

“We must obey God rather than any human authority. The God of our ancestors raised Jesus from the dead after you killed him by hanging him on a cross.1 Then God put him in the place of honor at his right hand as Prince and Savior. He did this so the people of Israel would repent of their sins and be forgiven. We are witnesses of these things and so is the Holy Spirit, who is given by God to those who obey him.”

Does your shadow cast a power by the Holy Spirit?  I think today is a good day to think about those unseen powers in the spiritual realm…real power like Peter’s power, which comes from God above, to be used for Good, not Evil.  Now that’s a supernatural story to beat a haunted house, any day!

This morning I read in Acts 3 about the early Christians taking care of each other.  Not one of their number (and it was over 5000) was in need of anything, because they all shared what they had.  Those who had much liquified some of their holdings in order to help provide for those who had little.

It’s not a coincidence that after reading that story I had the idea to take stock of my closet. It’s the BermudaTriangle of my house and desperately needs organizing.  There are nineteen pairs of shoes and 125 shirts and sweaters.  Not including my pants and dresses.  Not including my husband’s clothing.

What in heaven’s name am I doing with 125 tops?  Yikes!  To be fair to myself, I admit that at least three quarters of them are probably ten years old or older.  But that doesn’t eliminate the fact that there they sit, collecting dust and other closet grubbies, while another Christian somewhere halfway across the world makes do with one or two shirts and one pair of shoes mended with cardboard.

I am just one person.  How can I make a difference?  How can I change my life so that I resemble those first Christians who realized that nothing they owned was really theirs and shared with each other, seemingly without a second thought?  I feel so insignificant in the face of the world’s woes.

Our nation is Lost, with a capital L.  The Muslim countries who vilify us and call us the Great Satan may only be labeling what they see as our consummate greed.  Even those of us who claim to be Christians often live sequestered lives, turning a blind eye and refusing to see, to really see, the world as our God sees it.  Instead, we think of judgmental excuses:

• That homeless man with one arm holding a sign is really just a con artist.
• That one over there is just gonna go buy some dope, so why give him anything?
• What kind of woman with three kids ends up homeless?  She must be on drugs or something.
• Why should I give money to the food bank?  Isn’t that what food stamps are for?
• Those people want to live on the streets.

In this tight economy, we find ourselves holding on to what we have with a death grip, forgetting that everything material is temporary, except the love that we show to each other.  Maybe one reason Christianity is losing ground in our country is that we have stopped taking care of our own…or, at the very least, is because the media has stopped reporting about us taking care of our own.  There is a new religion rising up in the USA.  It’s called Government.  People everywhere are turning to the Government to save them

…from foreclosure
…from unemployment
…from hunger

Why Government?  If there were no needy among us, would the government still feel compelled to step in?

The old song, They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Love, rings hollow today when we spend 105 percent of what we earn (a statistic from 2007, before the recession).  How can we give to others when we are so wrapped up in ourselves?

Oh, that the Lord would just wipe the smudges off our lenses so we could see ourselves as we really are…and then so we’d do something about it.  Repent.  Turn away from materialism. Reach out a helping hand.

There are many avenues to explore, starting with our churches.  Local food banks.  Leftover food from restaurant often gets thrown out.  Discarded clothing ends up in landfills all over the country.  Homeless shelters have many needs.

One of those needs is a family headed by a single mom named Irene.  I don’t know her situation, but whatever it was, she had to leave everything behind her.  Maybe it was spousal abuse.  Maybe her husband became very ill and died, leaving immense medical expenses.  For whatever reason, Irene and her three young children found themselves without a home.  Can you imagine not having a place to lay your head at night?  Can you fathom what it is like to not know where your four year old girl will get her next meal?

A local homeless shelter took her in, and the shelter has been their only home for awhile now while Irene gets back up on her feet.  She has a good job and is about to move into the shelter’s transitional housing program with a twist: she and her children will move into the furnished apartment with the knowledge that everything they see around them: the furniture, the clothing, the food, the dishes, the beds — is now theirs.  When she graduates from the program in eighteen months, she’ll be able to secure her own apartment, or even home, based on the good credit she’s earned, without having to start over.

I have had the immense blessing of partnering with the homeless shelter in this endeavor for Irene.  I’ve used my church and homeschooling contacts to completely furnish Irene’s apartment.  I tell you this not to toot my own horn but to encourage you to follow your own nudgings.  This has all been possible because of God’s blessing and leading and design.  He planted the idea when I saw a newspaper article about the program years ago.  It took several years of desire on my part to do something before enough doors opened to allow me to act.  Words just can’t express the true joy I have experienced through this process.  I scrubbed someone else’s shower and toilet with such vigor (the job required it!) that my muscles shook from exertion.  I wanted it to be clean for Irene, you see.  As I labored, though, I sang, just from the pure joy of using my time to serve someone in need.  This is clearly a new beginning for Irene.  But it is also a new beginning for me!  I am proud of what God has done through my hands and the hands of those of my friends who have pitched in to help.  My utmost hope is that Irene will walk into her new apartment and feel the love her heavenly father has for her.

But this blog isn’t about me, or even about Irene.  It’s about you, Christian.

Somewhere you have seen something about helping others that resonates with your soul: maybe it was something in church or a direct mail advertisement.  Maybe you felt a twinge as you walked past a panhandler downtown or feel drawn to help secure clean drinking water for the millions in the world who have none.  If you are a Christian, then be assured that the Holy Spirit is gently prompting you to action, whatever that may be.

We will never reflect Christ as we should until we step out in faith and love others.  We will never reflect our Lord until we put the welfare of others above ourselves.  That kind of love is attractive.  As Toby Mac aptly puts it,

Love is in the house and the house is packed
So much so I left the back door cracked
Mama always said it’s a matter of fact
that when love is in the house the house is packed…”

I pray we will each take a moment to reflect that our lives aren’t about us.  He created each one of us for purposes beyond ourselves.  Even Jesus, the Lord we love, existed for a purpose beyond his status as God’s Only Son: he existed for God’s Glory.  He constantly looked for ways to glorify God, whether it was by restoring someone’s sight, turning water into wine, or raising a person from the dead.  He told us that we would do GREATER things than those miracles, for God’s glory.

Do you believe Him?

Like Jesus, you exist for God’s Glory.  How will you reflect the Glory this week?

We had a nice long weekend in downtown Chicago.  The people were very friendly, and despite the chilly weather and the rain, we managed to do some sightseeing.  I really enjoyed meeting many of my husband’s relatives.  A wedding is a great reason to celebrate!

Another reason I had for celebrating is that I did not have any chest pain the whole trip.  Not on the plane, not during social situations (which is when it usually hits me), and not during any of the many meals we ate.  I praise God for that because the previous week I had several days when that afternoon chest pain settled in.  Sometimes I have to go to bed, prop myself up on pillows, and get lost in a book before the pain begins to abate. I can only thank the Lord for protecting me from that pain during the trip.

My husband and daughter went up to the 103rd floor of the Sears Tower (now called the Willis Building).  They stood on a glass observation deck 103 stories above the earth, and while my daughter giggled and loved the giddy experience, my husband felt, for the first time, a twinge of panic.  He told me last night that he now has perhaps a little inkling of what it is that I go through.  I went to a before-the-wedding party on the 44th floor of the hotel and gritted my teeth the entire time.  The super fast elevator messed with my inner ear and made me dizzy…but I did not let that fear conquer me.  He was proud of me.  I was glad the Lord gave me a strong man whose hand in mine gives me courage I didn’t know I possessed.

Before I met my husband, I did not take elevators.  Ever.  Seriously — I walked ten flights of stairs instead of taking the elevator. So…taking an elevator up to the very top of the hotel was a huge accomplishment for me. Growth is a good thing even when it comes hand in hand with growing pains.

I read a news story today that reported on another study about the “obesity epidemic” among children.  The culprit, according to the story, is the unhealthy school lunch paid for by the government (in other words, paid for by taxpayers) to feed children whose parents can’t afford to feed them.

Let me get this straight: these children are so poor and hungry that they are……..obese?

Is anyone else out there puzzling over this discrepancy?

There is no doubt that the Lord calls us to feed those who are hungry, but I think His definition of “hungry” might differ from our government’s definition of hungry.  I’m thinking of the children in Africa who are literally skin and bones, whose bellies poke out not from too many twinkies and cokes but from malnutrition.  These children might get one bowl of rice a day, period.  No strawberries or apples or bananas.  No carrots or green beans or salad.  Just rice.  Those are the kids who truly need $2.92 a meal, which is what a typical school meal costs.

Our government nannies at the Department of Agriculture dictate that our US kids need more fruit and vegetables and whole grains, and they require schools districts who get federal lunch money (taxpayer lunch money) to provide meals that adhere to the food pyramid guidelines.  I’m okay with that — I’d much rather my tax dollars pay for homemade bread than pop tarts — but there’s a catch (of course).  The government (again, that means we the taxpayers) only pays out $2.68 per lunch.  According to the School Nutrition Association, each “free” lunch costs about $2.92 each.  Who makes up the difference?  We do.  To cover the cost differential, schools increase the cost of lunch for everyone else.

What does this twenty-four cent difference mean for the average taxpayer who does not qualify for the free lunch program?

In 2007, 5.1 Billion free lunches were served.  At a twenty-four cent shortfall per lunch, that means there were $1.2 million between what those lunches cost and what taxpayers paid.  Those of you whose children eat school lunches paid extra, on top of what you already pay in income tax, to cover the difference.

During the general election I wrote a blog about Michelle Obama’s comments regarding making sure that everyone “gets a piece of the pie.”

Hmmm.  What kind of pie was she referring to?  The School Lunch pie?  The Medicaid pie?  How about that Social Security pie?

What kind of pie do you deserve?

Me?

I’d rather serve it than eat it.

¹²When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them.¹³“You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. ¹⁴Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. ¹⁵I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. ¹⁶I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. ¹⁷Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.
John 13