Where The Shadow Falls

It’s Halloween…a day of funky costumes and spooky ghost stories about shadowy figures lurking behind hidden doorways.

Usually I scoff at Halloween superstitions.  But today my reading of Acts 5 brought to light a true supernatural story about shadows.

Supernatural happenings were popping up all over the place.  A man who had been crucified mysteriously disappeared from his tomb and then was found to be alive by at least 500 witnesses.  This same man was lifted up into the heavens, leaving behind disciples who had been touched by what are described as “tongues of flames” of the Holy Spirit.  These men then went out and spread the good news about Jesus being the Messiah to anyone who would hear it, defying the religious rulers and authorities who ordered them to stop preaching in Jesus’ name.  Everywhere they went, people were healed of diseases and came to know the Lord.

These disciples became so popular that crowds came to them.   Sick people were carried to sit or lie by the side of the roads where Peter and his disciples walked to and from the temple where they preached the truth about Jesus.

As a result of the apostles’ work, sick people were brought out into the streets on beds and mats so that Peter’s shadow might fall across some of them as he went by. Crowds came from the villages around Jerusalem, bringing their sick and those possessed by evils spirits, and they were all healed.

Most of the time the word “shadow” has a negative connotation.  When I take the dog outside on a cold day, I’d rather stand in the sunshine than in the shadow of the house.  Shadows make me shiver.  On a hot day, I don’t stand in the shadow of the tree — I stand in the shade.

Yet this account tells us that there was real power in Peter’s shadow.  Multiple people were healed of their diseases simply by sitting in the shadow of one who had walked with the Lord.

It’s important to realize that Peter was not perfect — he denied Christ three times after he was arrested.  He had been an ordinary everyman whose name had been Simon until Jesus gave him the name The Rock.  I wonder if he knew that one day the Lord would use his shadow for miraculous works…

One thing is certain: the man whose shadow fell on the sick and healed them was bold for Christ.  He stood up to the ACLU of his times and pronounced the hard truth no matter what the consequences.

“We must obey God rather than any human authority. The God of our ancestors raised Jesus from the dead after you killed him by hanging him on a cross.1 Then God put him in the place of honor at his right hand as Prince and Savior. He did this so the people of Israel would repent of their sins and be forgiven. We are witnesses of these things and so is the Holy Spirit, who is given by God to those who obey him.”

Does your shadow cast a power by the Holy Spirit?  I think today is a good day to think about those unseen powers in the spiritual realm…real power like Peter’s power, which comes from God above, to be used for Good, not Evil.  Now that’s a supernatural story to beat a haunted house, any day!

Into the Shadowlands

You are a worthless piece of baggage!  Just another mouth to feed.

(slap to the face)

Get OUT! You’re no longer welcome here!

Those were the words eleven-year-old Mary heard from her stepfather just before he pushed her out the door.

Where would she go?  How would she live?   What would she eat that day?  Those questions are daunting enough for the millions of homeless adults in today’s world, but for an eleven-year-old, they crushed her spirit and kindled a hatred in her heart for men who mercilessly beat women and children.

Truth be told, Mary felt a sense of guilty relief knowing that she would not have to endure another slap to the face from the monster who married her mother; relief at not having to look over her shoulder anymore, and guilt because she knew her mom and sisters would probably absorb the blows that she would have born had she still lived home to receive them.

There was no use contacting the police.  What would they do?  They’d lock her up just for daring to challenge a man.

So Mary turned her back and trudged her way to seek refuge at Aunt Gabrielle’s house.  In those tough economic times, “refuge” was a relative term.  With no extra food to give her, Mary’s aunt did the next best thing: she helped her find a job.

Thus it was that eleven year old Mary became a nanny for the first time.  She bathed, fed, watched over, and quickly learned to love three small children and cleaned their home every day.  The few pennies she earned went to pay for extra food, clothing, and shoes.  Sometimes she snuck home when she knew her stepfather wasn’t around and gave her mom a few extra pennies.  This meager existence played out for nearly five years, until the children grew old enough for school, and the family had no need of a nanny anymore.  Once again, Mary found herself on the verge of homelessness and hunger.

Being a faithful girl of sixteen, Mary poured out her troubles to God and daily asked for a way to live free from homelessness, abuse, and hunger.  The Lord provided in the form of a job as a receptionist at a veterinarian clinic.  She loved meeting the people who brought in their pets, and silently she watched and learned.  Her quick intelligence and efficiency soon turned the cluttered front desk into an organized oasis that the clients noticed and appreciated.

Someone else noticed, too.  Mario, a man twenty-five years her senior, was in the clinic one day, painting a sign to hang by the front door.  He paid special attention to Mary, commenting frequently on her beauty and the sparkle in her eye.  At sixteen, Mary was adept at fending off the advances of amorous men.  She had no use for them — always remembering the treatment her mother and aunts received from the men in their lives.  But Mario was persistent, and soon he discovered that the way to soften Mary’s hardened heart was to offer her a way out of her present circumstances.  What would it be like to live in a land where a person gets an honest pay for an honest day’s job?  Where a house can be built without bribes being paid to officials?  Where a woman can go to college and have her own business?

Between Mario’s smooth charm and tantalizing thoughts of freedom, Mary didn’t stand a chance.  She believed his lies and took up his offer to help her achieve this freedom.

Little did she know that this freedom came at a terrible price.

Mario bought forged papers that showed Mary’s age to be 18, rather than 16.  Then he handed her and $3000 to his buddy Owen.  Owen was an expert in helping people move from one place to another…illegally.  Mary was assured that everything would be legit and that the forged papers were made so that she could travel freely in the country without a parent.  Drunk on thoughts of freedom and opportunity, sixteen-year-old Mary allowed herself to be led like a sheep to a slaughterhouse.

The false papers took her six hundred miles from the only land she’d ever known. At no time was she out of Owen’s sights.  At no time could she go back, nor did it ever occur to her young mind that her choices were fraught with danger.  Mary had her first clue that something was amiss when Owen took her to a house — just to stay the night, he promised.  The man at the house had more in mind than sleeping and expected payment in full.  Mary tried to rebuff his amorous advances, politely, at first.  But when this nameless man grabbed her breasts and twisted them violently, Mary fought back.  She punched and kicked and succeeded in making herself off limits — for the night, at least.

Her next clue came when Owen explained that the next leg of their journey would be on foot, rather than by car.  What could she do?

After walking miles and miles across hot, sandy desert, Mary knew without a doubt that she was in big trouble.  Owen suddenly yanked her back and took off running in the direction from which they came.  Mary was trapped.  Owen pulled her on one side, and burly angry men with guns were on the other.  This was no picnic.  It was not “legit.”  And she had nowhere safe to go.  So she ran back with Owen, back to the home of the man who tried to assault her.  She had to figure out what to do.  Mario had paid Owen $3000 to get her across the border in an illegal act.  The money was paid, and she was now a thousand miles from home.  She had no money of her own.  She was a woman in a man’s world — where men owned their women like they owned their houses or their cars.

After a night praying, Mary decided to keep moving forward.  The land before her was at least a place where she would be free.  Free from Owen, free from corruption, free from men who abuse women as a matter of course.  The Lord would help her sort out her life — or He would send her back, or He would take her home to the ultimate destination.

The next morning before sunrise, Mary and Owen again set out on foot.  They took a different path…one that led to a high fence studded with barbed wire.  Mary was past the point of return; there was nothing to do but grit her teeth and find a way through the fence.  A barb tore a chunk out of her shoulder, but still she walked, waiting for the freedom that supposedly beckoned beyond the fence.

First the holes in the soles of her shoes were small, but as the days passed, they grew larger.  Soon she wrapped her feet in discarded paper, trying to protect them from the hot sand.  Thirst and hunger were constant companions, and the wound on her shoulder began to fester.  Mary grew weaker and more and more ill as time marched on; the days blended into a blur until finally she and Owen reached a city large enough to allow them to hide in its shadows.

Mario was waiting for her.  Alone, frightened, dazed, and sick, Mary became a child bride in a strange country which was now her home.  Her old life of abuse was behind her; life in the shadowlands with limited opportunity awaited.

She was trapped, but she was not defeated.  Mary determined to make her new country her own.  She set her mind to learning the language.  She worked as a nanny for several years, raising those children as if they were her own.  She became a mom when she turned 22.  Life in her new country was much better than the one she came from.  There were no more physical beatings, but in a few years emotional abuse set in.  Mario lost interest in Mary; he moved out of their home and into the home of his mistress.  He threatened to report Mary to the authorities.  He refused to pay his share of medical bills for their daughter and stopped paying the mortgage.

Once again, Mary faced a giant hurdle with tenacity and courage.  She took on more work than most people could shoulder, cleaning two, sometimes three houses a day.  She used a large chunk of her earnings to pay for health insurance so that she and her daughter would never be denied health care.  Mary has lived and worked in her adopted country for fifteen years and wants, more than anything, to earn her GED and go to college.  She is the one person in a thousand who wants to pay taxes.  She wants to give back to the country that has lifted her out of a life of abuse.  She wants to become a citizen of the land of the free.

But, ironically, she can’t.  Mary is an illegal alien, brought to the USA from South America as a bright-eyed teenager, hoping for a better life.  She has worked difficult, hard jobs these past fifteen years without complaint.  She is grateful for the work she has because it puts food on her table.  She contributes to the economy and does not rely on public assistance.  She is a believer and knows that coming over here illegally was wrong…but it was also right.

Readers of my blog know that I have in the past taken a very strong stance against the concept of amnesty.  That was before I came to know and love Mary.  The Lord put her in my life for a reason; she has been a blessing to my family in ways that I can’t even describe.  She is a shining example of someone who really does deserve a real chance to come out of the shadowlands.

Through Mary, I have been given a heart-upgrade.  I see America’s potential through her eyes, and it saddens me.  I read the Lord’s words with new meaning, and I cringe at the hate spewing out of the mouths of those (of whom I once was) who do not look behind the numbers to see the faces and hands and hearts that God sees.

Isaiah 56:

¹ This is what the Lord says:“Be just and fair to all.
Do what is right and good,
for I am coming soon to rescue you
and to display my righteousness among you.

⁶ “I will also bless the foreigners who commit themselves to the Lord,

who serve him and love his name,
who worship him and do not desecrate the Sabbath day of rest,
and who hold fast to my covenant.
⁸ For the Sovereign Lord,
who brings back the outcasts of Israel, says:
I will bring others, too,
besides my people Israel.”

Are not we believers, too, foreigners?  We, too, are among those of whom the Lord says, “I will bring others, too, besides my people Israel.”

Sinful Leaders Condemned

⁹ Come, wild animals of the field!
Come, wild animals of the forest!
Come and devour my people!
For the leaders of my people—
the Lord’s watchmen, his shepherds—
are blind and ignorant.
They are like silent watchdogs
that give no warning when danger comes.
They love to lie around, sleeping and dreaming.
¹¹ Like greedy dogs, they are never satisfied.
They are ignorant shepherds,
all following their own path
and intent on personal gain.

Is that much different than those of us who shout and complain that “the illegals” are taking jobs away from hard-working Americans?  Are we all, as the verses say, following our own path and intent on our own personal gain?

Former Republican candidate Mike Huckabee speaks a great deal about helping these people come out of the shadows.  If America’s leaders would institute some sort of system (paying a fine, speaking the language, becoming citizens) that would allow these twelve million souls the means to become legal, our entire economy would benefit from the taxes they would pay.  More importantly, the hard workers like Mary would finally be able to emerge from the shadowlands and work unencumbered for God’s glory.

Ruffled feathers, indeed!

Last week I posted a copy of a letter I sent to the lab that did my blood work and copied to the various doctors I’ve been seeing.  The response I’ve seen has been less than awe inspiring.

The oncologist first gave me the great news that my blood test for cryoglobulin was, again, negative!  Woo-hoo!!  This means that the protein is not in my blood.  Two out of three tests were negative.  Excellent.

However, the doctor told me that my concerns about the lab were unwarranted.  Apparently, different labs process the cryoglobulin tests in different ways — he said that he’d never heard of requiring fasting for this test, but my own internet research showed at least three separate sources saying that lipids (fats) in the blood can interfere with the validity of the test, thus they recommended fasting.  Curious that both of my negative tests were received after I had been fasting.  Having said that, it is concerning that there is such a disparity between labs; who can a patient trust?  Which is the best?  We patients are usually forced to use whichever labs our doctors prefer without having any say in the matter.  It is as if the doctors see themselves as mini gods who know all, and they look down their noses on those of us who dare to ask questions.

Not that all doctors are that way.

Certainly the Greatest Physician who ever walked this earth wasn’t like that.  Jesus answered questions in ways that enlightened — and any sense of inferiority we may feel upon his answers are warranted because of Who he is.

There are references to the spiritual gift of healing in scriptures.  Which brings me to a new revelation I had this week while reading 1 Corinthians 14 regarding spiritual gifts.

The early Christians sought certain spiritual gifts.  They desired to have different ones, and apparently the Spirit granted some of their wishes.  This is a foreign concept to me.  I’ve taken those “spiritual gift” inventories and discovered those things in which I am gifted…but it never once occurred to me to ASK the Lord for a certain spiritual gift.  Has it occurred to you?

In Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, he writes in Chapter 14:

Let love be your highest goal! But you should also desire the special abilities the Spirit gives—especially the ability to prophesy.

Desire?  What exactly does that mean?  I always thought that we got whatever God gives us, period.  But a look into the Greek opens up the meaning and an entirely different perspective on how we can serve the Lord.  The word used here is the verb zeloo and is closely associated with our word zealous.  It literally means to burn with zeal, to pursue zealously all that is good.  The implication of this verb is this: the early Christians apparently desired to have different spiritual gifts to be used for the church body.  This means that I, too, can desire, go after, seek, and be zealous for a particular spiritual gift.  Paul is specifically speaking about the gift of prophesy and of speaking in tongues and interpretation…but the fact remains that he wrote that the believers should zeloo.  This means that, in the realm of spiritual gifts, we can ask God!

I don’t know why that is so astonishing to me.  Jesus did tell us that if we had just a tiny bit of faith we could tell a mountain to move, and it would move.  When his curses killed a fig tree in one day, he told his astonished disciples that they would do even greater things than He did.  The practical application of that, though, is what stumps me.

I’ll have to mull this one over a bit, see if I can find any other references to Christians seeking out certain spiritual gifts over others.  Certainly they had a superiority complex and had to be straightened out (I’ll never forget Paul admonishing them that the least honorable parts are those that are covered and protected…and that they are the most needed.  After all, feet may become sweaty, but they serve a very important function in a body!)  It just never dawned on me that they were looking for spiritual gifts like kids picking out candy in a candy store.

If you could ask for a particular spiritual gift, which one(s) would you choose, and why?

Worried About My Worries

We are a people of words.  Words permeate everything we do — even our thoughts are framed in words.  Because we are created in God’s image, and because he chose to give us a written guide beginning with the 10 Commandments, I think words matter to God.  In fact, I know words matter to him.  Jesus said, in Luke 6,

The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.

Anxiety is a thorn I deal with on a daily basis.  Usually I’m able to push it aside, but sometimes it takes root, and then panic sets in.  The other day my husband and daughter started talking about a trip to Italy that they are planning next spring, and they both pleaded with me to go with them.  The mere thought of flying (across the ocean!) and being in unfamiliar places where the language is unfamiliar and the food is unfamiliar and the water will likely make me sick….I shudder just to think of it.  Most of you probably laugh at these fears or imagine that they are easily surmountable.  I wish that was the case, with all my heart.  Instead, my body started in with a full blown panic attack — a squeezing, heavy pain settled in my chest, my heart began to race, and I started trembling from head to toe.  Just from thinking about it!  Even now as I write these words my body betrays me, and the only way I fight back the panic is assuring myself that I will not be going with them this time.

The guilt I feel about not being able to experience life fully with my family because of my anxieties is tremendous.  When an attack hits, I’m usually very down on myself and spiral into depression: I hate this aspect of my personality and wish I could cut it off like Jesus said to cut off your hand if it causes you to sin.  I’ve been struggling for awhile, wondering if this anxiety is, in and of itself, a sin.  But, thanks to the prayers of my friends who know this about me and to the God who created me and gave me Romans 8:38-39, I’ve had a breakthrough!

Romans 8:38-39, NIV

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

These verses have always been a comfort to me.  Yet lately I have been worried that my worries are sinful — afraid that this anxiety I experience, this inability to let go and trust God to such an extent that the panic attacks go away, is sin in and of itself.

But God in His great love showed me Romans 8:38-39 in a different light today — one that makes my spirit sing!  There is hope for me yet!

Romans 8:38-39, New Living Translation

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[o] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. ³⁹ No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

In black and white, I learn from these verses that my fears and worries do NOT have the power to separate me from the love of God that is revealed in Christ.

Taking it deeper, I looked up the Greek words in this verse and came upon another treasure:

The phrase “fears for today” is encompassed in the Greek word enistemi. It means “to place in or among; to impend or threaten; or to be close at hand.” I am very acquainted with feeling like the present circumstances are threatening, even when clearly they are not.  The phrase “worries about tomorrow” comes from the Greek word mello, which literally means “about to be suffering something.” I am very up close and comfortable with this fear of things to come.  It’s almost as if this verse was written For. Me.

God never leaves me, does he?  Not when I am feeling fears for today nor worries for tomorrow — these anxieties are not sins.  Rather, they are indicators of my need for Him and for His covering, and according to these verses, they can’t take me away from my God.

My mom used to joke about me — that I get afraid over being afraid.  And that’s the truth (she knows me well)!  But these verses give me one less thing to worry about. My heart may be overflowing with anxieties…but at least “fear of being separated from God’s love because of them” is no longer among them!

A Life That Demands An Explanation

I heard a sermon the other day where the pastor quoted this statement:

Christians today ought to live a life that demands an explanation.

Our lives are to look different than the lives of those around us.

Does your life look different? Does mine?

This question has generated much discussion in our family. One of the assertions of the author of the Blue Parakeet book (which I finished this morning, yea!) is that not all of Jesus’ commands are applicable to today. I want to explore that assertion by examining for myself Jesus’ commands. I’ll begin in the book of Matthew:

“Repent of your sins and turn to God, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near.

Can we follow that command in today’s world? Yes! Repenting is not just a “please forgive me” statement. It is a word that implies action. Someone who has been actively involved in a sin actively turns his back on that sin and moves off in a new direction, towards God. One of the sins I found myself committing is the sin of coveting materials things I don’t have. In repentence, I mute the television during commercials and put advertisements into the recycle bin without even looking at them. When I find myself struggling with selfishness and the Holy Spirit brings that to my attention, I need to immediately repent and intentionally redirect my thoughts towards God and others rather than on myself.

“God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you^[c] and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. ¹² Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven.

Are we Christians good about following this command of Jesus? I’m not. I get offended when the government takes God out of life and when the ACLU sues school districts for allowing prayer. It makes me feel angry when I overhear nonbelievers saying ugly things about those of us who follow Christ. Just yesterday there was an article out about the outgoing General Counsel of the NEA, Bob Chanin, who said,

“We are not paranoid, someone really is after us. Why are these conservative and right-wing b****rds picking on NEA and its affiliates? I will tell you why: it is the price we pay for success.”

The NEA issued a handbook about us Christian right-wingers in 1996 that said, in part, about the “radical right’s crusade against public schools”:

“They won’t go away. No matter how bizarre we believe their beliefs to be, no matter how illogical and inconsistent their goals appear, and no matter how often we reassure ourselves that ‘this too, shall pass,’ the political, social, and religious forces that make up the radical right in contemporary American society will not go away.”

Are we happy about that? No, as a whole we are not. We gripe about it in blogs. We tell Christian teachers to quit the NEA and stop sending them dues each year. But it is possible for us to be glad about it! It requires a renewing of our mindsets. We have been so blessed in our religious freedom that we have forgotten what it means to be blessed through persecution. Perhaps our time has come. Note to self: quit griping and start celebrating! Yea!! The media dissed Christians today!! Yea! President Obama denied that we are a Christian nation! If we truly follow Jesus, we will rejoice. Why? Because of the great reward that is coming!

In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.

We sing about that command…a great song by the Newsboys called Shine as well as a children’s song, “This Little Light of Mine.” I think it is significant to note here that in order to follow this command to shine, we must first do something. Good deeds. Is that possible in today’s world? Of course! Here are a few ideas. Some of them I’ll have to try myself!

• Tell the drive through worker you want to pay for the order for the car that is behind you.
• Take meals to neighbors who are sick.
• Pass on hand-me-down clothes to those who can’t afford to buy them for their kids or themselves.
• Stock the food pantry at your church or neighborhood on a regular basis.
• Keep a stash of granola bars or other food in your car and hand them out to the homeless (or homeless pretenders) standing on street corners. What does it matter whether the person is genuinely needy? God knows your heart! Your light shines either way!
• Consider becoming a foster parent.
• Get to know your neighbors. How can you love them if you don’t even know their names?

The list could go on and on! The point is, this is a command that, if we actually followed it, Christians and therefore Christ would be lifted up in honor! For us to say we follow Christ but then to sit on our laurel without actually doing the good deeds he commands us to do makes us no better than the Pharisees. It makes us hypocrites.

“You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’^{[d] 22} But I say, if you are even angry with someone,^[e] you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot,^[f] you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone,^[g] you are in danger of the fires of hell.^[h]“So if you are presenting a sacrifice^[i] at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, ²⁴ leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.

Is it possible to follow this command in today’s world? We don’t offer sacrificial animals…but we do make our offerings in church. How do you approach the offering plate? Do you toss in your check without thinking? Jesus clearly tells us to delay our offerings until we are reconciled to those around us. This is a difficult thing to do. It’s much easier for me to sweep something under the rug or to ignore it. But here’s a litmus test: if whatever it is makes you fret or obsess or want to discuss it with your husband or a close friend — then chances are you need to go be reconciled to that person. Ack! It is uncomfortable to confront these people, especially when you love them. It’s easier to confront a stranger (i.e, the rude store clerk or salesperson on the phone) than it is to confront someone you love. Yet Jesus clearly tells us to be reconciled. To seethe inwardly leads to anger which leads to cursing which leads to the fires of hell….a place where none of us want to be!

“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’^{[k] 28} But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. ²⁹ So if your eye—even your good eye^[l]—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. ³⁰ And if your hand—even your stronger hand^[m]—causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

This is a big one, and not just for the guys. Jesus calls us to guard our eyes. Don’t let our eyes lead us into lust. I’m reminded of Casting Crown’s song, Slow Fade, that addresses this issue. Indeed, as the lyrics say, people never crumble in a day. I make it a point to not cultivate friendships with men or to be alone with them. It’s my way of making sure that the slow fade never catches hold of me: if I don’t engage in conversation or close friendships with men who are not my husband, then there is no opportunity for sin. Perhaps to some of you this is an extreme behavior on my part: but look again at what Jesus commands us: it’s better to cut off your hand than to commit adultery in your heart!

I’ve just gone through Matthew, halfway through chapter 5, and found these commands. I encourage you to not take my word for it. Seek out Jesus’ commands and think about how you can follow them in your life today so that your life demands an explanation, so that those around you notice your light shining. In a world where conformity is preached from Kindergarten through college, being different is discouraged. But you, be encouraged!

And be ready to give an explanation.

Out of the mouths of…..donkeys

I’m still plodding through the Blue Parakeet book.  I am so frustrated lately because I have started way too many books and can’t seem to make any progress on any of them.  So my new method is to plow through them one at a time.  Since the book club meeting is in early August, I decided to finish the parakeet first.

The crux of the Blue Parakeet book is that the author believes women should not be “caged” in the church and should be allowed to be ministers and pastors of churches.  He maintains that many of the commands we find, even those in the New Testament, are not applicable to today.  For example, the command by Paul in 1 Timothy 2 that men are to raise their arms in prayer is not followed today.  Because most don’t follow it, the author states that it isn’t applicable.  And that is where my spirit says WHOA!  Slow down.  Most people don’t drive the speed limit, but that doesn’t mean it is no longer applicable.

The truth is that Paul’s words are his words, and Paul was not Christ.  He preached Christ, and he brought the gospel to many, many people.  But I believe the answer to the women in ministry question lies in four words Paul prefaced his “women should be silent” command in 1Timothy 2:

¹¹A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. ¹²I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.

Notice he did not say that CHRIST does not permit.  He says that he himself does not permit.  That implies a distinction between what Paul preaches is the word of God and his own words.

It is also apparent that even Paul wasn’t clear in his thoughts about women in the church because there are several examples in his writings of him commending women in ministry and service to the church.  Paul clearly states that women are teachers in the church in Romans 16:

¹I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a servant^[a] of the church in Cenchrea. ²I ask you to receive her in the Lord in a way worthy of the saints and to give her any help she may need from you, for she has been a great help to many people, including me.

The word “servant” in Greek is diakonos, and it means to minister or to carry out the affairs of a master (i.e., Christ).  It is used to describe both women and men and is often translated as “deacon.”

Clearly Paul permitted Phoebe to do more than sit quietly in submission.  He asked the Romans to give her any help she needed (i.e, obey her commands!).  This leads me to conclude that Paul must have either changed his mind about women in ministry or that we aren’t completely understanding his meaning.

A woman should learn in quietness and submission

perhaps refers to women who don’t yet know the gospel.  But his later statements  in 1Timothy 2 seem to imply that he means for all women to be silent:

¹³For Adam was formed first, then Eve. ¹⁴And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. ¹⁵But women^[a] will be saved^[b] through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

When I read that verse, I am glad that Paul was not Christ.  I think it is important to know the author.  Yes, the Lord inspired Paul’s letters to the churches.  But does that mean that Paul was perfect?  Of course not!  He himself admitted that he didn’t do what he knew he should do and that he did what he knew he should not do.

Rather than being legalistic and proclaiming that women should be silent all the time…

Rather than being legalistic and proclaiming that women should be allowed to be leaders in all churches all the time…

I prefer to hold tightly to the words of Christ about the Counselor he has given to us all who believe in Him, from John 14:

¹⁶And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— ¹⁷the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be^[c] in you. ¹⁸I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. ¹⁹Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live.

²⁵“All this I have spoken while still with you. ²⁶But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. ²⁷Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Our church body has many parts and expresses faith in many different ways.  To those who are called to serve, male or female, I pray the fullness of the Lord will be with them in mighty and powerful ways.  To those churches and members who interpret Paul’s words to mean that women should be silent in submission, I pray the fullness of the Lord will be with them in mighty and powerful ways for God’s glory.  In the end, it doesn’t matter who the mouthpiece is so long as love for the Lord is in the heart.

The Lord speaks to us through the majesty of creation…through those around us…through His word…and, sometimes, even through a female donkey! Don’t believe me?  Check out Numbers 22:

¹⁸ But Balaam answered them, “Even if Balak gave me his palace filled with silver and gold, I could not do anything great or small to go beyond the command of the LORD my God. ¹⁹ Now stay here tonight as the others did, and I will find out what else the LORD will tell me.”

²⁰ That night God came to Balaam and said, “Since these men have come to summon you, go with them, but do only what I tell you.”

Balaam’s Donkey

²¹ Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the princes of Moab. ²² But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the LORD stood in the road to oppose him. Balaam was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him. ²³ When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, she turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat her to get her back on the road.²⁴ Then the angel of the LORD stood in a narrow path between two vineyards, with walls on both sides. ²⁵ When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she pressed close to the wall, crushing Balaam’s foot against it. So he beat her again.

²⁶ Then the angel of the LORD moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, either to the right or to the left. ²⁷ When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she lay down under Balaam, and he was angry and beat her with his staff. ²⁸ Then the LORD opened the donkey’s mouth, and she said to Balaam, “What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?”

²⁹ Balaam answered the donkey, “You have made a fool of me! If I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now.”

³⁰ The donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?”
“No,” he said.

³¹ Then the LORD opened Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell facedown.

³² The angel of the LORD asked him, “Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me. ^{[c] 33} The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If she had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared her.”

³⁴ Balaam said to the angel of the LORD, “I have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road to oppose me. Now if you are displeased, I will go back.”

³⁵ The angel of the LORD said to Balaam, “Go with the men, but speak only what I tell you.” So Balaam went with the princes of Balak.

Disguised Rebellion

I’ve been thinking a lot about obedience lately, thanks to my daily Bible readings.  A recent reading in 1 Samuel has my head — and my heart — all tied up in knots.

Much is written about King David, but the only thing we Christians think of when we remember King Saul is his demented soul at the end of his reign.  We remember that he was paranoid and that he intended to kill David.

I think, though, that a little bit of Saul resides in each one of us.  I call it “misguided obedience.”  It’s when we tack our own will onto God’s orders.  It happens when we think we know what’s best for us despite what God tells us.  We delude ourselves into thinking we are walking in obedience, when actually we are twisting the Lord’s will to our own purposes.

We aren’t alone in this sin — we people of faith have been deluding ourselves ever since Adam and Eve second-guessed God and ate fruit from the tree that God had said was not good for them.

In 1 Samuel 15, God decided that he would use Saul and his army to punish the Amalekite nation for the way it had treated Israel.  He told Saul to go into that country and to utterly destory everything there, including all the men, women, children…even babies, all the way down to the livestock.

Ouch.  That is a tough order to follow.  Babies?

Saul took 210,000 men and followed God’s orders…to a point.  He put everyone to the sword (apparently even the babies) except King Agag.  But he diverged from God’s plan when it came to destroying the livestock the Amalekites had owned.  He and his men spared the good stuff — the healthy animals.

(If I had been Saul, I would have had harder time obeying when it came to killing the innocent babies than I would have killing the animals.) Saul even had what he thought was a good reason for not completely obeying God: he intended to use the perfect livestock as burnt offerings to the Lord.

But listen to what Samuel said in response to Saul’s excuse:

¹³ When Samuel reached him, Saul said, “The LORD bless you! I have carried out the LORD’s instructions.”

¹⁴ But Samuel said, “What then is this bleating of sheep in my ears? What is this lowing of cattle that I hear?”

¹⁵ Saul answered, “The soldiers brought them from the Amalekites; they spared the best of the sheep and cattle to sacrifice to the LORD your God, but we totally destroyed the rest.”

¹⁶ “Stop!” Samuel said to Saul. “Let me tell you what the LORD said to me last night.”
“Tell me,” Saul replied.

¹⁷ Samuel said, “Although you were once small in your own eyes, did you not become the head of the tribes of Israel? The LORD anointed you king over Israel. ¹⁸ And he sent you on a mission, saying, ‘Go and completely destroy those wicked people, the Amalekites; make war on them until you have wiped them out.’ ¹⁹ Why did you not obey the LORD ? Why did you pounce on the plunder and do evil in the eyes of the LORD ?”

²⁰ “But I did obey the LORD,” Saul said. “I went on the mission the LORD assigned me. I completely destroyed the Amalekites and brought back Agag their king. ²¹ The soldiers took sheep and cattle from the plunder, the best of what was devoted to God, in order to sacrifice them to the LORD your God at Gilgal.”

²² But Samuel replied:
“Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD ?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
and to heed is better than the fat of rams.

²³ For rebellion is like the sin of divination,
and arrogance like the evil of idolatry.
Because you have rejected the word of the LORD,
he has rejected you as king.”

To obey is better than sacrifice.

By not completely obeying God, Saul was in fact rebelling.

When you and I do not completely obey Christ, aren’t we doing the same thing?  Jesus himself stressed the importance of obedience and linked it to love in the book of John, chapter 14:

²¹Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.”

²²Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?”

²³Jesus replied, “If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. ²⁴He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.

What, then, does Christ command?

That will be the subject of another post!  For now, the phrase

To obey is better than sacrifice

is on my mind and in my heart.  The reasons for my disobedience is not material. My myriad excuses are simply rebellions dressed up in disguise.

Hiding isn’t just for wimps

Today I had one of those “Huh?” moments while reading  about the events leading up to the crowning of Israel’s first king, Saul.  God’s people grumbled and complained and kept begging for a king, so God finally said, “Okay.”  It reminds me of the times that my dad gave in and let me have my way.  If I had a fit, his answer was always no.  But I quickly learned that if I gracefully accepted his initial “No,” he usually relented later and would agree to let me do whatever it was that I had asked.  To this day, I can see him stand in my doorway, arms crossed and head tilted to the side as he sighed deeply and said,

You can do (whatever)…against my better judgment.”

So even though God knows that a king is NOT what is best for Israel, he’s giving in and letting them have one.  He chose a man who stood head and shoulders above the rest.  Saul was merely going about his business, looking high and low for his father’s lost donkeys, when Samuel the prophet befriended him and honored him at a huge feast.  Can  you imagine the bewilderment Saul must have felt upon hearing these words:

Then Samuel took a flask of oil and poured it on Saul’s head and kissed him, saying, “Has not the LORD anointed you leader over his inheritance? (from 1 Samuel 10)

Samuel then went on to tell Saul a few prophesies.  First, he said that Saul would meet two men near Rachel’s tomb who would tell him that his father’s donkeys had been found.  (Remember…we’re going from found donkeys to ruler of Israel, literally overnight!)  Then Samuel told him that as he went on his way, he’d meet up with three men.  One would be carrying three young goats, one would be carrying three loaves of bread, and another would carry a flask of wine.  Samuel told him to accept the bread they would offer him.  Finally, Samuel predicted that Saul would come upon prophets and that he himself would become a changed person and would begin prophesying. He instructed Saul to go ahead of him to Gilgal and to do whatever the Lord led him to do.

So Saul went on his way, and, I’m sure to his utter amazement, everything happened the way Samuel said it would happen.  When he met with the prophets, the Bible says:

As Saul turned to leave Samuel, God changed Saul’s heart, and all these signs were fulfilled that day.  When they arrived at Gibeah, a procession of prophets met him; the Spirit of God came upon him in power, and he joined in their prophesying.

Saul saw his uncle shortly after this, but he did not say anything about what had happened.  Maybe his mind was whirling.  Maybe God stilled his lips so that he would not say.  When Samuel arrived, he assembled the Israelites by tribes and clans in order to select a king (against God’s better judgment).   The tribe of  Benjamin was selected…and then the clan of Matri.

What happened next is when I hit the Huh? factor in this story.

Finally Saul son of Kish was chosen. But when they looked for him, he was not to be found. So they inquired further of the LORD, “Has the man come here yet?”
And the LORD said, “Yes, he has hidden himself among the baggage.”

Huh?

Saul, the chosen one, the one who had already been anointed, who had already had the Spirit of God come upon him, who had already prophesied, the  one who stood head and shoulders above everyone else, went into hiding!  He was afraid!

There are times that I despise myself when my fears strangle me.  How is it that one such as me, one who has been saved by grace and is a daughter of the king, could still be shackled with panic and fear?  I never realized until today that Saul was just like me in that regard.  There have been times that I have wanted to crawl into bed and hide under the covers because I was afraid.  I have always felt so weak and…damaged…because of my phobic tendencies.  But this passage gives me hope!  Everyone faces fears and hides away for a time.  Even kings.  Even moms.

I recently became the  director of a local Classical Conversations group.  CC is a homeschooling model and method and functions like a co-op, only with more academics and a focus on the classical model of education (about which I’ll be writing much more later when I have had time to assimilate!)  I attended a three-day seminar and training last week and found myself feeling a little like Saul.

What on earth have I taken on?  Is the Lord SURE I am the one for this position?  Me?  The one who is phobic and anxiety-prone?  The one who knew absolutely nothing about classical education until about six months ago and is now totally passionate about it?  I had a mini-panic attack at the end of the second day that woke me up from sleep.

But now I am reminded of Saul, and of David, and of all those Biblical examples of flawed people working out their faith in real ways.  Sometimes they ran away before they got it right.  Sometimes they hid.  Now I don’t feel so bad about covering up with a blanket and hiding in a book for half the night.  Saul’s anxiety must have been sky high, to go from donkey-searcher-outer to king!  Kinda makes my anxiety about going from homeschool mom to CC director pale in comparison…and I’m realizing that it’s not necessarily wimpy to hide for a little while.  God knows where I am, and, like he did with Saul, he’ll direct others to drag me out when it’s time for me to do the tasks he’s set before me.

The Blue Parakeet in the Kiln

This morning my daughter and I spent a couple of hours with a kind neighbor who has a glass jewelry-making business.  She offered to let us come create some pieces of our own.  The colors of the glass that we broke into shards and then placed in a design have hidden attributes.  The extreme heat of the kiln transforms the glass into completely different hues.  In fact, a couple of my pink pieces came out looking golden, but the overall effect was beautiful.  Tomorrow they will be polished and ready after another stint through the fire.

Maybe it’s the extreme Texas heat, but I’ve been thinking about what it is like to walk through the fire.  In order to achieve perfection, the glass jewelry we’re making has to pass through tremendous temperatures (upwards of 1300 degrees F) at least twice.  The heat causes the glass to melt together in unique formations and also gives the top clear glass a polished sheen.

Isn’t that the way God designed our lives?  He shapes us a little here and a little there.  Sometimes he scores us and breaks off that which isn’t quite perfect.  He cracks our hearts and re-makes them to help us become the telios (perfect) people he commands us to be.  The whole Bible is a story of the ways God has shaped and re-shaped His people.  Over and over again we read of the people repenting of their sins and turning back to him, only to be lured away again with the next big thing.

I’m  once again delving into Scot McKnight’s book The Blue Parakeet.  Today I don’t have much of a quarrel with his argument that the Bible is to be read as a Story.  Not as a jigsaw puzzle.   Not as someone who tries to understand the mind of God (because who ever could anyway?).  What I may still quibble with him is that he continues to insist that the Bible is to be applied in our day in our way.

I believe those could be dangerous words.  In Revelation 2, I read today:

“But I also have a message for the rest of you in Thyatira who have not followed this false teaching (`deeper truths,’ as they call them—depths of Satan, actually). I will ask nothing more of you except that you hold tightly to what you have until I come.

Again, in Jude, another warning:

Dear friends, I had been eagerly planning to write to you about the salvation we all share. But now I find that I must write about something else, urging you to defend the faith that God has entrusted once for all time to his holy people. I say this because some ungodly people have wormed their way into your churches, saying that God’s marvelous grace allows us to live immoral lives.

Please know I am not in any way trying to say that the writer of Blue Parakeet is one of these false teachers.  I am simply saying that I will endeavor to truly TEST EVERYTHING.  I have found nothing so far that urges us to live immoral lives in McKnight’s book — except, perhaps, that some could take his assertion that we should take the Story of the Bible and apply it “in our day for our day.”  Some people who believe that homosexuality is not sinful but is simply a state of being (which is what “our day”’s culture constantly bombards us with in television and other media) could then feel free to live however they choose because they say those old mores don’t apply to today’s world.  The same could be said about those who engage in the “swinger” lifestyle.

McKnight also quotes a passage from Leviticus 25 about God’s command to not charge interest and then compares it to our modern day life in which interest is ingrained in everything we do.  He uses this passage as an example of something that God said that applied back then but no longer applies now.  “That was then, and this is now,” is how he interprets this passage:

‘If one of your countrymen becomes poor and is unable to support himself among you, help him as you would an alien or a temporary resident, so he can continue to live among you.  Do not take interest of any kind  from him, but fear your God, so that your countryman may continue to live among you. You must not lend him money at interest or sell him food at a profit.

He writes that in today’s world we don’t take the time to find out whether or not our mortgage company is a “brother” or not.  He goes on to say,

…Until we learn to read the Bible as Story, we will not know how to get anything out of the Bible for daily living. We will not become aware how we can so easily dispense with what the Bible says about interest.  And, unless we read the Bible as Story, we might be tempted to make “that was then” into  “it’s also now.”  But it isn’t.  Times have changed.  God spoke in Moses’ day in Moses’ ways (about interest), and he spoke in Jesus’ days in Jesus’ ways…And he speaks in our days in our ways — and it is our responsibility to live out what the Bible says in our days.”

Again, the warning bells are clanging in my head.  For one thing, nothing in the Leviticus passage commands God’s people to not PAY interest but instead instructs them to not CHARGE interest.  My husband and I follow that command.  Although we pay interest on our mortgage, we do not charge interest to those who may borrow items from us.  This is intentional on our part because we want to show love to our neighbors.  The Lord indeed speaks to me NOW through that passage about interest.

Ack!  Sounds a bit like itching ears want to hear (from 2Timothy):

³For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. ⁴They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. ⁵But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.

And that is what I am trying to do…keep my head.

So today it seems, again, that The Blue Parakeet is a bit out of tune.  To be fair, I have only completed about 20% of it and am just getting started.  I’ll write more posts when something else grabs me.

Lord, I pray for  discernment through the power of the Holy Spirit, to teach me, to counsel me — on how to apply your Words to my life.  As I struggle  through this book that my church leadership put out for us to read and discuss, please give me a teachable — but wise — heart.  You created me, Father, and you are continuously shaping me and molding me and heating me and cooling me just as I did today to make jewelry.  I ask you to protect me and my church.  Do not let men chip away at your truths or turn our individual colors into ones you have not fashioned.  For we are YOUR workmanship.

It may be that I am  the only Red Parakeet in a Blue Parakeet fan club!

Blue Parakeets and Skeletons in the Closet

It is fascinating to watch God weave the events of our lives so that “coincidences” pop up all over the place. Mind you, I don’t believe in coincidences because, in my mind, our omnipresent Creator already knows every thought before we think it and every action before we move.

You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord .
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
–from Psalm 139

Lately I’ve been wrestling in my mind over how to live out my faith. I alternate between being disgusted with my materialistic Lexus and praising God for his provision. My husband and I have had discussions about what constitutes a tithe — does it have to go to the church, or are all charitable donations considered tithes in the Lord’s eyes? Why is it that so many in America who claim to be Christians don’t attend church? Somehow something about my bubble life doesn’t seem to resonate with Jesus’ commandments to love my neighbors. I love my family, yes. If I learned of a neighbor in need, I would reach out to help — but that’s kinda difficult when my neighbors and I don’t see each other except to wave as we drive by on our way to another destination or errand.

The Blue Parakeet is a newish book about reading the Bible that my church book club is currently reading. I’m more of a fiction kind of gal, but with an intriguing title like that, I decided to get the book, dig in, and see what all the fuss was about.

And I discovered pretty quickly that the one fussing is me.

This book is going to be difficult to read. It is also going to be intriguing because it addresses so many of the questions I’ve been wrestling with. I am deeply concerned about its premises on several levels.

For starters, the author writes that it is impossible for modern-day Christians to fully literally obey the Bible in today’s world. He writes that we all pick and choose what we focus on. He’s right — at least in my church, we skip over the part where Paul writes that women should have their hair covered and think of that as a “that was then, this was now” kind of thing. Well, some homosexual believers say the same thing about the teachings about them. Isn’t it hypocritical of me to hold up one thing as TRUE while dismissing the other as something that doesn’t apply anymore?

In fact, if I’m honest here, I have to say that I have always had a tendency to “weigh” the words of Jesus more heavily than those of Paul or Peter or John or Luke. Many times Paul wrote commands such as this one, in 1 Timothy 2,

I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.

And yet we have Jesus doing the exact opposite of what Paul “permits.” He appeared directly to Mary Magdalene and then commanded her to go and TELL his brothers a message from him, the Lord, in John 20:

She turned to leave and saw someone standing there. It was Jesus, but she didn’t recognize him. “Dear woman, why are you crying?” Jesus asked her. “Who are you looking for?”

She thought he was the gardener. “Sir,” she said, “if you have taken him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will go and get him.”

“Mary!” Jesus said.

She turned to him and cried out, “Rabboni!” (which is Hebrew for “Teacher”).

“Don’t cling to me,” Jesus said, “for I haven’t yet ascended to the Father. But go find my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”

Mary Magdalene found the disciples and told them, “I have seen the Lord!” Then she gave them his message.

In that instance, Mary provided information to the disciples. Isn’t that teaching?

It’s safe to say that reading this Blue Parakeet book is opening up many skeletons that I have firmly shoved into the dark closets of my mind, the ones labeled “DANGER! Don’t Open!” There are some topics that feel scary to tackle, such as apparent contradictions. If I question these things openly, does that mean I question the bedrock of my faith, that Jesus is the Son of God, born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, died on a cross for my sins and rose again on the third day, ascended to heaven? No, I still believe that truth.

The way I reconcile in my own mind the apparent difference between Paul’s teaching and Jesus’ teaching is that Paul was a man, and Jesus is God. Of course I will believe Jesus over Paul. But when I do this, I am, as the author asserts, picking and choosing what to believe.

How about the one about the rich young man who wanted to get into heaven? Apparently this was an outstanding young man who had followed all the commandments. He wanted to know what else he needed to do in order to receive eternal life. Jesus told him:

Jesus told him, “If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” (Matthew 19)

Notice the order of the steps he had to take. Before he could follow Jesus, he had to sell his possessions and give the money to the poor.

That is not the way we do things in our church. Most of us are not homeless, and if we are, it is not by choice. Why do we Christians not live our lives in this way? Why do we increase our standard of living to match (or exceed) our income? I’m including myself in this question because that’s definitely the story of my life. When we moved to Texas, we found that for the exact same amount of money as our Florida house sold for, we could buy nearly double the house here. We COULD have bought the same sized home for nearly half the amount, but chose the bigger house instead. Why did I do that? It’s clear that at that moment in time, I had three choices:

1. Purchase a smaller home, giving ourselves an almost-paid-for-house
2. Give all our proceeds to the poor
3. Purchase a larger home, giving ourselves as much debt as we started with

Now, if we had chosen door number 2, where would we be today? Where would we be living? I don’t know. It would be a scary proposition to find myself homeless and without STUFF, by choice.

Suffice it to say, this is one of those passages that we Americans tend to gloss over. We don’t strive to be perfect, do we? In fact, in The Blue Parakeet, the author goes so far as to say it is impossible to do such a thing in a modern world.

But just think about it. What if fifty Christian families sold everything and gave it all to the poor in YOUR community. What would happen next? How then would they follow Jesus when He himself is bodily in heaven? Would they begin a walking tour, telling everyone the good news, just as Jesus did? How would such a tour be financed? What would the impact be on our world today if we did indeed step into the past and do just as Jesus said we needed to do in order to be perfect? The author says it is impossible. I disagree. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!”

Who said anything about being perfect?

Um, our King did. Look at what he commands in Matthew 5:

If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.

Maybe we can wiggle out of this by focusing on the word perfect. In the above verses, the Greek word is teleios, which means the utmost of human integrity and virtue; being brought to its end without needing anything else to achieve its completion. We are to be finished. Sort of like sending a young woman off to finishing school for some polishing…only much more. Jesus used the same word teleios when he spoke to the young man. And when the young man who had many possessions walked away, shaking his head in defeat, Jesus told his disciples that it would be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Apparently the rich young man just gave up. He was on his way, but he wasn’t teleios.

Does the fact that I have not sold all my possessions and given them to the poor mean that I am not entering into the Kingdom of Heaven? Is Christianity as we know it totally messed up?

The author of The Blue Parakeet wrote about our differing interpretations of the Bible, and about what we pick and choose to focus on as:

What we decide is our way for our day.

My warning antennae just went up on high alert. I have been reading in Judges and have been seeing what happens when a group of people begin to do what seems right in their own eyes.

Rape. Murder. Demolishing entire villages in order to capture the virgins. Forcefully giving the virgins as wives to a tribe so they can be made to have children that will continue on the tribe. Stealing young women from another village to take away as wives.

Holy Spirit, I pray for wisdom to know what it is that you want me to do in my lifelong quest to follow Jesus. Do I take Jesus’ words literally? Do I pick and choose?

Paul Coleman has written a song that beautifully captures my angst about these matters. It’s called Last Night In America. These lyrics capture my heart:

I’m afraid to turn my TV on
And I’m hoping what they said is wrong
Can I just live my lifetime here and then move on?
I’ve had a million conversations about
Who is right and who is wrong
And how would Jesus want for us to carry on
I’m praying for God’s will but secretly wanting
Riches and blessings to pour in my hands
Is this my last night in America?

My tendency is to run away
And try to keep my family safe
But tell me how to hide away from all this hate?
The dominos that we see fall
Were set in motion long ago
Fear became a flower and the garden grows
I’m seeing the irony, the battle inside of me
You brought me peace now I’m at war with the world
Tell me is there some way out
Tell me that I’m not alone
Show me the mystery oh cornerstone
Is this my last night in America?

Is this my last night in America?
Or is it my last moment anywhere?
Our breath is a vapor that’s lost in the air
Is this my last night in America?

Well I’ve read about a God of war
And painted blood from door to door
Canonized in scripture and in black and white
And I’ve read about my Jesus Christ
And I’ve received His sacrifice
But is it turn the other cheek or is it stand and fight?
‘Cause I’m just a simple pilgrim I’m not a man with wisdom
What do I do when there’s a thief at my door?
Do I resist him or in silence assist him?

What seemed right isn’t clear anymore
Is it the fall of a nation or the great tribulation
The eve of invasion or the book of revelation
Well I’ll wear my freedom as an invitation
To the God of creation who’s keeping the score
Is this my last night in America?