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Psalm 148
Praise the Lord !
Praise the Lord from the heavens!
Praise him from the skies!
2 Praise him, all his angels!
Praise him, all the armies of heaven!
3 Praise him, sun and moon!
Praise him, all you twinkling stars!
4 Praise him, skies above!
Praise him, vapors high above the clouds!
5 Let every created thing give praise to the Lord ,
for he issued his command, and they came into being.
6 He set them in place forever and ever.
His decree will never be revoked.
7 Praise the Lord from the earth,
you creatures of the ocean depths,
8 fire and hail, snow and clouds,s
wind and weather that obey him,
9 mountains and all hills,
fruit trees and all cedars,
10 wild animals and all livestock,
small scurrying animals and birds,
11 kings of the earth and all people,
rulers and judges of the earth,
12 young men and young women,
old men and children.
13 Let them all praise the name of the Lord .
For his name is very great;
his glory towers over the earth and heaven!
14 He has made his people strong,
honoring his faithful ones—
the people of Israel who are close to him.
Praise the Lord !
What more can I say? Our vacation was glorious. If there had been a way to consume the tropical, flowery scents around us, I would have eaten until I burst. As it was, I stood on the shore, taking in the majestic scene as far as my eye could see, and I shivered with awe. It was our last evening, and I expected that I would feel sad about leaving. Instead, I told my daughter that this was one of those moments that we try to take a picture with our hearts. I will engrave that sunset on my memory — may it ever serve as a reminder of the glory, majesty, creativity and splendor of the Creator!
Yet….
Every single day in that paradise had storms. Tropical raindrops are bigger and wetter than the ones that usually fall on us in North Texas. Even the rain smells like salt. Salt water is corrosive, and residents must be very vigilant to keep rust at bay. Everywhere on the carefully maintained resort was evidence of past furies; Hurricane Charley devastated the region in 2004 with such force that the shape of the coast itself changed, and a new island was born. The peaceful lushness of the island is bought with a price.
Just as my peace with our Lord was bought with a price.
To experience myself the way God made me to be, I must also endure storms that make my legs grow heavy and whip my hair into my eyes so that I cannot see clearly. Then, at those moments of helplessness, I find that the Lord is right there leading me through. He does not shield me from the furies of the world, but He never leaves me alone.
I was highly anxious about making this trip. Planes are not my favorite modes of transportation. I was so weary from the noise of travel that I wished my husband would turn off the radio once we got into a car. I craved silence. Instead I got the heavy pounding of fat raindrops on the roof. We traveled through such a heavy wall of rain that light literally could not penetrate. There were islands just offshore that our eyes could not see due to the rain. My eyes traveled the horizon, looking for waterspouts and other such anxious monsters. But we persevered. My husband kept driving. We kept trusting. And the reward we received was this:
Whatever storm may be pounding you, rest assured that it will pass by. I’m left with a peaceful realization that the storms the Lord is allowing in my life are shaping me, just as Hurricane Charlie shaped the coastline of Captiva. To my Creator I am an expanse of sand just waiting to be made into something that glorifies Him.
We are leaving for vacation in a few days. Aside from the usual anxiety over the airplane ride, I am tasting tiny tidbits of bittersweet fruit. My daughter’s “only child” status has never seriously bothered her….until the last few months or so. We tried to find a homeschool friend to go with us, but at her age, most parents aren’t too keen on their kids flying halfway across the country with people who aren’t family. I don’t blame them; I wouldn’t let my child go on vacation with someone else, either! But, for her sake, we asked three friends. The answer for each one was no.
Then the day before yesterday I overheard her telling a younger friend that since no other children could come with her, she’s going to take a “fairy friend.” My heart shattered; its pieces clattered around and around in a swirling mess. I blame myself for the fact that she has no sister or brother. As many times as I remind myself that the LORD is in control, I shovel hot coals on my head and still shoulder the blame, playing the IF ONLY game. IF ONLY I wasn’t so afraid of throwing up, I would have eaten more and stayed hydrated. IF ONLY I didn’t have intense panic attacks, I would have tried again. Two episodes of intense nausea and marathon panic attacks that ended up in nightmarishly painful miscarriages were as much as I thought I could handle. But what if God wanted me to try again? What if I have denied Him the chance to work another miracle in me because I gave in to the fear?
I wonder if I will ever get over this anxiety affliction or if it will be to me a thorn in my side. I don’t know what purpose God had in taking my babies, and it is so difficult to let it go. Most of the time I don’t dwell on it. But today…thinking about my ten-year-old inventing an imaginary playmate because she doesn’t have a sibling to share in the joy….
And now…for something completely different….
This is a photo of an ovarian cyst. It’s not mine, but it is exactly like the image I saw today while lying sprawled quite uncomfortably on the examination table. I have been having cramps pretty much all the time and passed it off as anxiety, but then some abnormal bleeding showed up. So I went to the doctor. I nearly came up off the table during the very embarrassing exam because the pain was so severe.
The sonogram showed that my cyst is filled with fluid. It has no blood flow.
There is no treatment at the stage in the game unless it does not go away on its own or gets significantly larger. I have to say, it is disconcerting to walk around knowing I have a 4-cm balloon on the side of my ovary that could rupture (causing severe pain) at any moment. But it is also comforting to know that I am in the LORD’s hands. My doctor is a good one. I guess I can look at this as an opportunity for the Lord to heal me spontaneously of the cyst and the associated pain and bleeding. Like the woman with the 12-year bleeding disorder, if I could just touch His robe!
For a moment there, lying on the sonogram table wondering about this sudden change in my health, I got a little shaky. Nobody wants a cancer diagnosis! I was almost giddy when the doctor told me there was no evidence of blood flow inside the cyst or of tissue inside; it had all the markings of a benign growth that he felt would go away on its own. Phew! For a brief moment, I had a glimpse of my mortality on this earth.
(it didn’t help matters that the kiosk lady at the mall tried to sell me anti-aging cream!)
It’s interesting that my daily Bible reading from YouVersion spoke explicitly about life and death, from Deuteronomy 30:
This command I am giving you today is not too difficult for you to understand, and it is not beyond your reach.12 It is not kept in heaven, so distant that you must ask, `Who will go up to heaven and bring it down so we can hear it and obey?’13 It is not kept beyond the sea, so far away that you must ask, `Who will cross the sea to bring it to us so we can hear it and obey?’14 No, the message is very close at hand; it is on your lips and in your heart so that you can obey it.
15 “Now listen! Today I am giving you a choice between life and death, between prosperity and disaster.16 For I command you this day to love the Lord your God and to keep his commands, decrees, and regulations by walking in his ways. If you do this, you will live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you and the land you are about to enter and occupy.
The message is very close at hand. It is on my lips and in my heart. That’s a truth that most people (including me!) forget! God’s message is not trapped in a black hole somewhere out in space. The Holy Spirit brings it to my heart and to my lips, giving me the ump I need to get up and obey it, and to embrace those things that I cannot change. This verse gives me great comfort…that one day when I see my Lord, his promise that I will “live and multiply” will be complete, and the “mish mash” of my heart will be glued together again.
This handsome fella was at the zoo we visited when my daughter was not quite 2 years old. This section was the petting zoo, and we were given the “opportunity” to step inside and mingle with the livestock. To this day, I have a tremendous fear of goats. All because of him. The Eater.
The zoo staff gave each person a map of the zoo. Imagine my consternation when The Eater walked boldly towards us. I didn’t like the gleam in his eye, so I snatched my daughter up to hold her away from that beast. He just kept coming and coming. I turned my back. He walked around…and proceeded to snatch the map right out of my hand with his gaping goat-mouth. He. Ate. It. All. That little old map wasn’t enough roughage for him, because the next thing on his menu was my shirt. Yes, that mean old goat started EATING my shirt while I was still in it! I shudder right now just thinking about it.
I think Jesus must have had some dealings with goats like that. Some quality adjectives describing goats might be: Ornery. Stubborn. Capricious. Greedy. Evil. Cranky. Bullying. Cantankerous. Surly. Obnoxious. Bilious. Contentious. Obstinate. Contrary. Those words sometimes describe MY mood!
In Matthew 25, Jesus gives us an idea of what to expect when He returns in His glory.
All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.”
When I came across this passage the other day, I had to wonder: why did Jesus compare sheep and goats specifically? Why not cats and dogs? Or birds and fish? So I did a little internet digging in order to educate myself a little about the nature of sheep and goats. It turns out that they are closely related and are part of the same scientific subfamily Caprinae. It can be difficult to distinguish them apart by their appearance. However, they are worlds apart in their temperament.
Sheep follow leaders. Goats like to go their own way. Scientific research shows that both species are intelligent — but the goat is more prone to trickery. If any part of a fence can be flattened, he escapes. He does not readily follow a leader.
In Jesus’ prophesy, the people who have been his sheep — the ones who feed and clothe the hungry, take care of the poor and the sick, take in the stranger– will inherit the Kingdom which has been prepared since the creation of the world. (v. 34)
Think about it. Jesus fed those who were hungry. He ministered to strangers. He cared for and loved all creation. Those of us who take Him to be our Shepherd and follow his lead in helping others will be counted as sheep.
But the goats? Those who go their own way — the ones who ignore the hungry and live their lives under no one’s authority but their own will and desires — they will be counted as goats.
If I remember correctly, this was the story that convinced me to be a Christ-follower. Perhaps, as a nine-year-old, I did not want to be one of the ones about whom Jesus will say:
Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons.”
Self-preservation had something to do with my decision to follow my Lord. Who says goats are smarter than sheep? They are always getting themselves stuck in trees and in high places and need help getting down. They get into and eat things that aren’t good for them. But sheep that follow a shepherd stay safe and secure. They are guarded from those things that prey.
Now, if I can only be meek. Docile. Teachable. Gentle. Compliant. Agreeable. Willing. Nonresistant. Obedient. Cooperative.
Like a sheep.
